Down the Hidden Path Page 12

  He dropped his weight against the doorjamb. “I don’t want to go, Gray.”

  Her heart squeezed because she knew he was trying to be strong. But this was all so unjust, uprooting him again. She moved to David and took his face in her hands. “I know. But it’s time for you to get to know him.”

  He pulled from her and crossed the room to drop in front of his bookcase. “I don’t need him. I have you.”

  “But I’ll be there the first night, maybe the second.” She’d begged Miah to let her stay a day or two until David had acclimated. He’d reluctantly agreed. He’d also agreed to let her stay on as Caleb’s therapist as long as she was gone before school got out so he and David could have time to bond. But he’d also promised her access to her son. It had been Bill and Angie’s wishes and Miah was willing to respect that. Miah wasn’t a cruel person, and he must have realized her depth of commitment to David.

  “You’re going to like Jeremiah. He’s a really good guy.”

  “If he’s so great, why didn’t you ever tell me about him? Why didn’t you want him to know about me?” David pulled the manga books from his low shelf.

  “I knew Bill and Angie were going to be great parents for you. Jeremiah and I were just kids back then. I was scared that telling him might mess up your future. It was stupid, but that’s the only excuse I have.” She swallowed hard.

  “But after I was born? Why didn’t you tell him?”

  Well, she couldn’t really divulge to a twelve-year-old that his adoptive mother threatened to deny Gray access to her child if Gray let Jeremiah know about David. Angie had been furious when she realized the birth father was a Havinger, a family with lots of money and access to high-dollar attorneys that could fight for rights to a potential heir. “You didn’t need him then. You had a dad. A great dad.”

  “I had a mom, too, but that didn’t stop you from hanging around.”

  “Nothing will keep me away from you. Ever. From the first moment I felt you kick inside my belly, I knew I loved you.” And it felt so amazingly good to be able to tell him that. Just say what was in her heart and on her mind. So often she’d bitten her tongue so she didn’t overstep her bounds. Now, she could tell him everything.

  He gave her a sad smile. “Will I get to see you much?”

  “Yes. We’re working out a schedule. But also, you need some time to get to know him. You won’t do that if I’m hanging around all the time.” She ruffled his ink-black hair. “I know this is hard, but will you try?”

  He sighed. “I guess.”

  She glanced around the room; already it felt emptier. “Ready?”

  He nodded and stood, then moved slowly to the door, a prisoner making that final march to execution.

  A light dusting of January snow made the lodge look even bigger than it was. From the outside, Miah glanced up at the chimney. He’d built a fire in the large great room fireplace, but the flue had made a strange clunking noise when he opened it so he went outside to inspect it.

  Caleb stood beside him. “I told you it was fine.” There was a slight pause between each of Caleb’s words. But all in all, speech seemed to be coming easier for him.

  Miah stared at the smoke billowing into the sky. “Yeah,” he grumbled.

  “You’re nervous as a pig in a bacon factory.”

  Miah threw an arm around his little brother. “Well, you keep my feet on the ground.” As they walked back toward the lodge, he slowed his steps to make the trek easier for Caleb. “Do I look okay?”

  Caleb rested his hand on the railing as they mounted the porch steps. “No. Dude, you look awful.”

  Miah ignored the intended insult. “I should change into that blue shirt, right?”

  Caleb scoffed. “Gonna look bad no matter what you put on.”

  The joke finally caught up to Miah. “Great. Thanks.”

  “Just keeping your feet on the ground.”

  “So, they’ll get here. I’ll show him his room, drink some hot chocolate, then we can go over to the retreat for dinner. Do you think that’s a good idea? Or should I just make some sandwiches here?” Miah refolded the collar of his shirt.

  “It’s not rocket science, Miah. He’s a kid. He’ll think the lodge is awesome. He’ll love Charlee’s retreat. All good.”

  “Yeah, but—” Caleb clamped his hand over Miah’s mouth before he could finish. “I don’t want to overwhelm him,” he mouthed around Caleb’s fingers.

  Caleb shook his head and walked away. He dropped into a seat in the living room where he could watch the fire. “If you don’t want to overwhelm him, turn down the intensity a few degrees. You’re like Tigger.”

  Miah planted his hands on his hips, spread his legs apart, and tried to calm his racing heart.

  Caleb pointed at him. “Dude. You’re gonna stroke out.”

  Miah opened his eyes, stared down his little brother. “I’m not having a stroke.”

  Caleb chuckled. “That throbbing blood vessel on the side of your head would disagree.” It might take Caleb a few extra seconds to sort his words, but his mind was sharp and quick with the good-natured insults.

  “Oh crap! I forgot something.” Miah threw the front door open and sailed out to his pickup truck. There in the front seat was the football he’d bought earlier in the day. The day before, he’d purchased a baseball, two gloves, and a bat. Then, he’d found Frisbees and a soccer ball. No easy task in the middle of winter.

  He’d also discovered the electronics. The newest game system was now littering the floor in front of his TV with cordless controllers and three of the “top games for teenagers,” per the electronics guru at Walmart. They were all first-person-shooter games and Caleb had already launched a campaign on each.

  He pulled the football from the bag. “Do you hear a car? I think I hear a car.”

  Caleb reached for a controller, only to be quelled by Miah. “No. No games until later. And we need to let David play. Not you. This is for him.”

  Caleb crossed his arms over his chest to sulk. “Who died and made him God?”

  Miah was fairly certain Caleb was joking. “He’s a kid, Caleb. One who just lost his parents.”

  “Yeah.” Caleb chewed the inside of his cheek, causing his mouth to quirk. “So did we, but we lived.”

  Really? Was Caleb actually being this petty? “We had each other. He’s got no one.”

  “He’s got Gray. Or he did until you took him away from her.”

  So that’s what this was about. Well, he shouldn’t be too surprised that Caleb would land on her side of the argument. After all, the two of them seemed thick as thieves. He didn’t need this right now. He was still trying to assimilate the fact that his whole world was getting ready to change. He was a dad. And having had a great dad himself, he knew the task wasn’t an easy one. At least he’d had younger brothers. That experience was bound to help him. Wasn’t it? This was the question that kept him up nights even though he was bone tired and full of uncertainty about this entire situation.

  Caleb leaned forward as if to reclaim Miah’s attention. “You just took him away from her. It was cruel, dude.”

  “Like she took him away from me all those years ago.”

  Caleb’s blue eyes turned stormy. “You were kids then. This is totally different. You should know better.” And with that he stood up and headed toward the stairs.

  Miah’s indignation burned. “Come back, Caleb. I want us to both be down here when they arrive.”

  Caleb’s hand landed on the stair railing. He turned. “Well, you don’t always get what you want.” He continued up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door.

  A knock drew Miah’s attention. He’d wanted to greet them before they got to the door. This was going all wrong. When he turned the knob and tugged, he noticed his body was trembling. He needed to get a grip or he was going to scare the kid to death.<
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  It had started to snow again, and the two people standing on his front porch wore the remnants of little white flecks in their hair and on their shoulders. Standing a few inches shorter than Gray was David. Same black hair, same pale skin, but where Gray’s eyes were that strange color of silver and magic, David’s were golden, shaped like almonds. Miah’s eyes.

  “Hey,” he said, pulling the door fully open. Wind whooshed inside and carried snowflakes with it. His heart was in his throat and though he just wanted to reach out and grab the kid that he’d been denied for so long, Miah had thought this through. To David, he was a stranger, and first impressions were paramount. He opened his mouth to say all the things he’d practiced, but fear had stolen his words.

  So, he stood there, his mouth hanging open, his heart stopped and his eyes bugging out of his head.

  “Hello, Mr. McKinley.” The boy held his hand out. “My name is David Olson.”

  Something surged in Miah’s heart. “Hello,” he forced through a throat so tight, he could barely breathe. He shook David’s hand. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

  David’s eyes trailed to Gray as if to say, Satisfied?

  She gave him a smile and an almost imperceptible nod.

  For some reason, that tiny motion threw Miah into hyperdrive. “I bought you a football.”

  Gray’s brows rose. She nodded inside the house.

  Miah frowned. What had he forgotten? “Oh, come in!”

  They stepped in and he took the suitcase from Gray and deposited it by the stairs. “I also bought baseball stuff, but that’s only fun if it’s not slick outside, and I’m not sure how much snow they’re calling for.”

  David was holding a stack of books, so Miah slipped them from him and sat them on the coffee table. He handed over the football. David stared at it.

  “Frisbee too. And a soccer ball. I didn’t know what you liked, so I bought what I could find.”

  David’s mouth twitched. “I’m not really into sports.”

  Huh? Miah shook off the remark. “Okay. Well, I bought the new Xbox and some games.” He waved David and Gray over to the TV.

  David touched the edge of the system. “Any RPGs?”

  Oh man. “No. All first-person shooters.”

  David’s gaze dropped to the floor. “Oh.”

  Gray picked up the cases and examined them. Her look of indignation fell on Miah. “These are all rated T for Teen.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Did you happen to notice why?” She held one of the cases to his face.

  “No. The guy at Walmart said it’s what all the teens are playing.”

  Her mouth pursed in that way it always did when she was frustrated.

  David took the case, rescuing Miah. “Yeah, I might like to try this one.”

  “Uh, no. You won’t.” Gray’s tone left no room for discussion. From either of them.

  She placed the game cases a little too hard on the coffee table and walked back toward the front door.

  When she was out of earshot and when he knew David was looking at him, he whispered, “Oops.”

  David bit back a smile. “Do you have PlayStation?”

  “No.” Miah looked at the covers of the games. They looked fine to him. “But we can go get one tomorrow if you want.”

  The sharp turn of Gray’s head quelled him. If her eyes were daggers, he’d be full of holes right now.

  “My sister is cooking us dinner at her property. My brother is upstairs. Are you hungry?”

  “Yeah.” David pulled his coat off and looked around the room.

  “Just toss it anywhere.”

  David’s eyes finally fell on the coat closet by the front door. He walked to it, pulled the door open, and hung his coat.

  Wow. Just wow. Miah watched, wondering where this miniature businessman was hiding his kid. “We’re pretty informal, here.” Needed to establish that quickly. “You can help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen. Or if you want something and don’t want to deal with it, just let me know. I’ll get it for you.”

  David nodded slowly and looked around. “Big place.”

  “It grows on you. I’m remodeling it right now. If you ever want to help out, you can. I’ll pick you up your own tool belt in town.”

  David chewed on his index fingernail. “I’m pretty sure there are labor laws concerning minors in this country.”

  Miah chuckled, but stopped laughing quickly. He wasn’t sure if David was joking.

  “The lake runs behind the lodge. Want to go check it out? I’ll walk down with you.”

  “It’s cold.” He threw a rescue-me look to Gray, just returning from the car.

  Miah nodded. “Well, yeah, it is. Missouri in the winter. That goes with the territory.”

  Gray stomped the snow off her boots and came back inside hauling a much smaller suitcase, and Miah hated, hated the fact that it gave him the slightest thrill to see her standing in his doorway with an overnight bag in her hands.

  She smiled across the room at her son. “You should go check out the lake, David. It’s cool. You’ll love it.”

  “Okay,” he mumbled and dragged himself up off the couch.

  She grabbed his coat from the closet and held it as he shrugged it on.

  “There’s hot chocolate on the stove. Keep it stirred while we’re gone?” he asked Gray.

  “Sure.” But her voice sounded dead. And for a hot instant, Miah actually felt bad for her, for the situation. But, he reminded himself, it was her own fault things were like this.

  Through the kitchen window, she watched father and son walk to the water’s edge while snowflakes danced on the current of light wind. The world below was magical, icicles and pixie dust, and she was inside stirring the cocoa. They looked good together, Miah and David. Like father and son should. Both tall, built the same, only David hadn’t fully grown into his gangly legs yet, but you could easily see the man he’d become as he walked with his father. Same stride. Same manner of nonchalance. Wow. Until this very instant, she’d never thought of them being that much alike. But there they were. And here she was, and if she wasn’t careful, she’d burn the cocoa.

  “Need a hand?”

  The voice came from behind, causing her to start. She turned to see Caleb in the doorway. He leaned against it, wide shoulders framing the entire space, and a half smile on his mouth that could light up a girl’s heart. “Hey there.” She brushed at her face hoping he wouldn’t notice the tear.

  Caleb moved in behind her, took a hold of the end of the spatula and let his hand slide down until his was over hers. “From the bottom,” he whispered in her ear. “Like this.” And his hand began a motion that shouldn’t have seemed seductive, but did.

  Gray stepped back. “Got it. Okay. How about you do the chocolate and I’ll get the cups?”

  “You know, I told him not to do this.”

  At that, Gray stopped with one hand reaching into the cupboard. “Do what?”

  “Take David away from you. You’re his mom.”

  A giant load seemed to drift right off of Gray’s shoulders at those words. She’d assumed she’d be the pariah at the house, assumed the entire McKinley clan would be against her. “Caleb, I know he doesn’t understand what happened all those years ago.”

  Caleb shrugged. “Who cares? It’s not like you had a choice. He’d gone to LA with Jennifer Cransden.”

  Gray swallowed; hearing that—even after all this time—hurt. “Yes, but he was back when I found out I was pregnant but I just . . . I blamed him for—”

  Caleb spun and moved to trap her by the sink. “For what? For what he did? You had every right, Gray.”

  She couldn’t bear to look him in the eye, so she studied the floor.

  He continued. “Miah has always gotten whatever he wanted and never thought about the
destruction in his wake.”

  It donned on Gray that though this might have to do with her, there was plenty of sibling rivalry bubbling to the surface, too. “Are you and your brother fighting?”

  He chuckled. “There’s no point in fighting with Jeremiah. Right or wrong, he gets what he wants.”

  She was angry with Miah, too, but he’d taken the care of Caleb on his shoulders and was willing to spend every last dime he had getting him the therapy he needed. He didn’t have to do that. “He’s trying to do what’s right. I know that in my heart.”

  Caleb laughed without humor. “And you’re defending him.”

  “No.” Gray brushed her hair away from her face, wishing Caleb would step back. The kitchen—though massive—was too small to be crowded by a hulking soldier.

  Caleb caught her hand in his as she lowered it. “It must have been terrifying. All alone.”

  In the last few days, she’d relived that time over and over. “Nana had a stroke. I was three months along. Miah was preparing to leave for boot camp, but I knew I was pregnant. I’d known for a month. He’d tried to come and see me before he left, but I wouldn’t see him.”

  “Darn right.”

  “Caleb, that night wasn’t Miah’s fault. I pushed for it. I pushed him right over the edge.”

  Caleb stiffened. “Guys are guys, Gray. No one in their right mind would turn you down. I don’t blame him for that. It’s how he handled it after. Not okay under any circumstances.”

  That much was true. He’d deposited her at her door, kissed her like he meant it, and pronounced that it was a great good-bye send-off. Her stomach still soured at the memory. Here she thought she’d finally become what Miah wanted, was finally the girl he’d walk away from the others to have. He’d certainly acted like that when they were in the cottage together. He’d made her feel like the only girl on the planet, like the only light in his world.

  And just like that, the light went out. When he’d returned from his little stint in LA, she’d refused to see him.

  “Hey,” Caleb whispered, catching her chin with his thumb and index finger. “It’s gonna be all right. You’re not in this alone.”